Some relationships appear to be healthier than others but all relationships have their struggles. It is possible for some struggles to make a relationship stronger but there are certain issues that are very destructive and make it difficult for a relationship to survive. Here are 10 ways you can destroy your relationship.
Expect your partner to complete you
If you’re looking for a partner to be all things to you – your protector, lover, entertainer, psychotherapist and parent – you will inevitably suffer disappointment. You make your happiness dependent on the other person and want him or her to be with you all the time. This is more of a fantasy than a reality and you are likely to come down to earth with a bump.
Think your partner can read your mind
When it becomes evident that your partner cannot read your mind, you believe that he or she does not love you or understand you. You role your eyes and sigh heavily to try and impress upon your clueless partner that something is bothering you but you never say what you really mean. If you are permanently brooding, silent, or forlorn, your relationship will falter under the burden of miscommunication.
Never admit you’re in the wrong
When you master the blame game, you can keep your partner’s head spinning with guilt and confusion. When you play the victim, your partner has to become the oppressor. This allows you to live in a fantasy world where you never have to take responsibility for your actions. You never have to compromise or change because it’s always your partner’s fault.
Make every argument personal
You commit to memory even the smallest failings of your partner so you can bring them all out every time you have a fight. You always make arguments personal with plenty of name-calling. You know just how to reroute an argument that you aren’t winning by burying your partner in insults. You don’t listen to what he or she has to say because you’re planning what to say next.
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You can withhold affection in an attempt to punish your partner or to keep the upper hand. If you and your partner start doing this, both physically and emotionally, it can turn into a form of abuse. Withholding affection may stem from some deep hurt a person cannot express. Showing affection often begins with the little things, like a thank you note, flowers or a hug which show that you appreciate and respect the other person.
Think about money differently
Money is one of the leading causes of problems in relationships so when a frivolous spender and a penny pincher end up together, the potential for tension is high. If you’re the extravagant one, your spending sprees, particularly on items you don’t need, are likely to test your penny-pinching partner’s tolerance to the limit. Penny pinchers who want to hoard money rather than using it can also ruin a perfectly good relationship.
Cling to resentment
All of us make mistakes but many of us cling to grievances even when people apologize and attempt to make amends. If you feel resentment towards your partner for something he or she has done, it is difficult to move on. If a partner has had an affair, it is often extremely difficult to forgive, and unless both parties are fully committed to mending the relationship, it doesn’t have a hope of surviving.
Say “no” too often
When you begin being selfish and saying “no” to all the little things, it may seem like it’s not a big deal at the time. But when you keep saying “no”, it adds up. These small acts of unkindness may add up to the point where you find yourself asking why you should be with someone who does not seem to care about you. When you don’t want to help your partner, do not listen to what he or she says or ignore what’s important to him or her, your relationship quickly deteriorates.
Flee from intimacy
A subconscious addiction to cyber gadgets can help you to avoid intimate moments. When you’re having dinner out, you pull out your mobile phone. If you’re stuck at home together, you go on Facebook or Youtube. You escape into work or hobbies whenever you have a little free time. You will do anything to avoid having to spend too much time together.
Stop caring about yourself
You may focus so much on your partner that you forget about caring for yourself. This extent of self-sacrifice is not good for you or your relationship. Not putting any time into developing yourself will lower your self-esteem and make you too dependent on your partner. You cannot afford to lose yourself in a relationship and then wake up one day and wonder what happened.