Momming Hard

What My Mother Never Told Me (Because I Didn’t Ask)

Becoming a mom gives you a newfound appreciation for all the sacrifices that your mother made when she was raising you. Until you become a mother yourself, you can only imagine what it takes to be a parent. Here are some of the things that your mother probably never shared with you herself.

Raising children is an emotional rollercoaster

When you’re a mom you’ll cry a lot from joy, from pain and from worry. You’ll sob with joy when you bring your precious child into this world and you’ll cry when you leave them at school for the first time. You’ll weep with your newborn as you try and sooth them to sleep and you’ll shed tears when your kid is sad because their best friend was mean to them at school. In amongst the tears are plenty of joyous moments that you’ll treasure forever. Whether you’re laughing together or crying together, your children mean will always mean the world to you.

You’ll doubt yourself

Being a mom is tough and with the pressure that society puts on mothers to be perfect, you may be wracked with self-doubt at times. This is especially true for working moms who have to juggle the demands of a career as well as the pressure of being the perfect parent. Learn to let go of the idea of being perfect and to have self-compassion. Know that you’re dealing with each situation as best you can and learn to trust yourself. While researching the latest parenting advice is useful, sometimes you need to put the latest research away and trust your mommy instincts. Self-doubt is normal, especially for moms but when you learn not to be so hard on yourself, being a mom becomes a little easier.


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Moms have countless sleepless nights

Your sleepless nights aren’t over once your child starts to sleep through. You may breathe a sigh of relief after you’ve got through your child’s early years where you don’t ever get a proper night’s sleep. If you think the days of trying to cope with sleep depreciation are over, think again. As a mother you’ll spend countless nights worrying about the wellbeing of your kids. From arguments with friends at school to not getting selected for the sports team they’d set their heart on, there are plenty of situations that cause children sadness. As their mom, you’ll experience every moment of your child’s pain and you’ll wish that you could stop them from hurting. When your children get to their teenage years and start to become more independent, you’ll worry about them when they are out of your sight.

You’ll experience unconditional love

While you may have experienced love before and it’s likely that you’ve imagined how it will feel to be a mother, it’s impossible to conceive of the depth of love that you’ll feel for your child once they’re born. From the day that you first lay eyes on your newborn, you’ll be captivated. Unconditional love is the thread that gets you through the frustration of telling your kids to tidy up yet again. It gets you through the hard times that all families are bound to face. Love makes the sleepless nights, the arguments and the messy lounge all entirely worth it. Just when you think your heart will explode from love, you’ll have your second child and realize that your heart can grow to make room for another precious kid.

You can’t protect your children from everything

While bullying and other situations where your child is in danger requires immediate intervention from parents, there are plenty of situations where children can benefit from dealing with the situation themselves. You’ll want to jump in to shield your child from every heartache and moment of sadness but you’ll soon realise that sometimes its best just to offer them your support and guidance. While your heart may be breaking to see your child upset, try give them the opportunity to express their feelings and to come up with possible solutions themselves. Once you’ve listened to them, you can give your own suggestions and share age-appropriate details of a time that you felt a similar way. Sometimes all it takes to turn a difficult situation around is to make sure that your child feels listened to, cared for an supported. That being said, if you feel that your child is at risk in any way, you’ll be ready to unleash all your protective instincts to keep them safe.

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