Discovering Your Husband’s Love Language

Bestselling author and relationship guru Gary Chapman discovered that there are five main Love Languages that we all ‘speak.’ People express their love in very different ways. Some people use words, others show their love through actions, and some people show love through gifts. Do you know what language your husband uses? To show his love?

For men, in particular, expressing love through words and emotion is not always an easy thing. Women are generally much more adept at communicating their feelings verbally. There are five main Love Languages – receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation and quality time.

Receiving Gifts

For some people, gifts are a physical expression of love that can be seen and touched and is a way to show their love. Does your hubby surprise you with perfume? We all like to receive gifts, especially on special occasions like birthdays. Choosing a thoughtful and personal gift is a way to express love.

It’s important to remember that the gift does not have to be expensive or extravagant. It could be something very small like your favorite chocolate, or it could be something that sparkles, and comes in a velvet box.

What is important is that it is something uniquely chosen for you, and you alone. Your husband may not be a poet, but it is very romantic to receive a little something that is his way of saying, “I love you, and am thinking of you.”

Acts of Service

Does your husband tinker around the house? Fix the running toilet, or repair that squeaky door hinge? For men, especially acts of service are a way to communicate their love. By doing jobs around the home, your husband is expressing his love by being of service to you.

Perhaps he mows that lawn and helps carry your groceries or washes your car for you. These are all acts of service that need to be acknowledged. Your husband may not be handy around the home but do other jobs too like help wash dishes, cook meals or do the shopping.

All these are acts of service and show his love. It can be something as small as making your coffee in the morning to filling up your tank with gas.

Physical Touch

This is not sexual touching but affection. Depending on how your husband was raised and how affectionate his family will play a part in how affectionate he is. Does he hold your hand? Give you a bear hug when he greets you?

For some people, physical touch and affection are harder to express. For other people, it is a very necessary way to show love. If your husband is not comfortable expressing affection you can simply touch him on a safe area like his arm.

Just because he may not be affectionate does not mean that he does not love you. Being comfortable with physical touch is something that has its roots in childhood, and not all people are the same.

Words of Affirmation

For some people, words matter a lot. We all like to hear positive and affirming messages of love, and compliments are great for your ego. Does your husband affirm your love? Using words?

It may be that your husband tells you all the time that he loves you, and how brilliant you are. He may have a poet’s soul and sing to you, or write a love poem. Some men are very comfortable expressing their emotions verbally while other men will not speak about their feelings, at all. Men often use other ways to show their love.

We all like to hear affirming words though, and you could always start by sharing your feelings, and let him know too just how wonderful he is. A simple ‘I love you, you’re amazing’ or ‘I am so lucky to have you in my life’ is bliss to our hearts.

Quality Time

Does your husband take you out for a romantic dinner? Does he take your hand and walk with you through your local park? Quality time is the special time of bonding that is very important in relationships. Often life is very busy, and there are so many distractions. Does your husband switch off his phone, and unplug from the rest of the world to spend time with you?

It could be a cup of coffee and time alone, without your children or a date. You could simply be sitting at home together without television or mobile devices. It is the intimate time of talking, sharing your dreams and hopes, and daily life together. Spending quality time together is a way to show love too.