Parenting is a full time job. Two full time jobs if we are being honest. There isn’t really time for much else anymore. You barely wear makeup and your kitchen isn’t always as clean as it was before the kids came along. We let many things slip when we become parents and most of the time it is okay.
One thing that very often gets forgotten is any romance between husband and wife. Yes, there can still be romance once the kids are around. Without it, you and your husband are more like roommates. Once the romance is dead, it is difficult to bring it back to life. Especially when you have the stresses of work, kids and home-life thrown in. There really doesn’t seem to be time for cuddles and kisses anymore.
You need to make the time. Parenting is stressful, and your relationship will face obstacles it would never have done so before. You and your husband need to be a joined force in order to get through the tough bits. The best way of ensuring this partnership is by keeping the romance alive. You don’t have to plan candle-lit cruise dinners or weekends away at a 5 star hotel to liven up the romance. Those things probably don’t even appeal to you anymore. Instead, find ways within each and every normal day to bring love back into your relationship. They can be small gestures, but they will mean so much among the hustle and bustle of busy parenthood.
Finding ways to liven up the spark during the day while you are busy with other things is really important. Keeping up with the romance will ensure a healthy, happy relationship between you and your partner. Just start practicing some simple signs of affection day to day and it will soon become habit. Before you know it you will have a healthy love life back.
Small kisses on the cheek or hand holding can go a really long way. They are little gestures, but hold a lot of meaning. Giving just that little sign of affection in the midst of a busy day says “hey, I might not be all here right now, but I am thinking of you and I love you”. Small, simple shows of love really add to the big picture, and they make approaching romance much easier. You can’t go from nothing at all to full blown affection – it doesn’t work that way.
Kindness is the best way to show some love during tough times. Kindness can help diffuse a difficult situation and give that extra little bit of sunshine when your husband needs it. Romance is not only physical. The emotional side to it is just as important. If there is no love and kindness, there can be no real romance. Work on your relationship first, and the romance will follow.
Look good, feel good
You really won’t want to liven up anything if you don’t feel good about yourself. Spend a little bit of time doing your hair or go have your nails done. You will feel more confident and able to approach a romantic situation, and your husband won’t complain about the sassy new look either.
Put in the effort
It might be awkward at first, but you will need to put in some effort. It can’t just happen out of nowhere. Make an effort to create some romance, set the mood and show affection. Soon enough it will be second nature and it will come a lot more naturally to both of you.
Find the time
Parenting doesn’t really give much free time to play with. You need to actively schedule in some romance. As ridiculous as it sounds, it will be the only way to get things happening. Send the kids to a babysitter or use their nap time wisely, whatever suits you and your husband best. Go on dates, meet for quick lunches during the week or simply sit down for a cup of coffee before the kids wake up. Look hard enough for the time and you will find it.
It is so important to liven up the romance between you and your husband. Take small steps each day to bring the love back, and you will soon see the positive effect it has on other aspects in your life. You will have a happier, healthy relationship and a partnership that can weather any storm.